Funny Quotes

Discover a treasure trove of chuckles with our “Funny Quotes” category at Quotes Collection. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or hoping to lighten up your day, our carefully curated selection serves up humor from the wittiest minds. Each quote is a snippet of joy, guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and brighten up any moment. Perfect for sharing with friends or for that personal giggle, these hilarious quips and clever one-liners are optimized to tickle your funny bone and add a dash of laughter to your online experience. Don’t forget to bookmark our “Funny Quotes” to easily find your daily dose of fun!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Why This Is HilariousThis funny quote plays on the irony that the wife's overly high-drawn eyebrows cause her to permanently appear surprised. The humor... Read more »
I only need a six-month vacation twice a year, is that too much to ask?

I only need a six-month vacation twice a year, is that too much to ask?

Understanding the JokeThe humor comes from the exaggeration of needing an unrealistic amount of time off work, expressing a common desire for escape from... Read more »
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she hugged me right away.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she hugged me right away.

ExplanationThis quote humorously illustrates the idea that sometimes our significant others see us as their 'mistakes' in a playful and loving manner! Read more »
Never trust an atom; they make up everything!

Never trust an atom; they make up everything!

Why This Joke Cracks Us UpThis quote plays with the word 'make up,' humorously combining scientific facts with the notion of deceit to deliver... Read more »
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

The Humor Behind the ImpossibleThis quote plays with the often motivational phrase 'nothing is impossible' by juxtaposing it with a humorously futile task. It... Read more »
I told my therapist about my procrastination; he said we'd talk about it later.

I told my therapist about my procrastination; he said we’d talk about it later.

ExplicaciónThis quote humorously captures the irony of discussing procrastination only to have the conversation postponed, highlighting the frustrating nature of the habit. Read more »
If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy's eyes and run!

If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eyes and run!

ExplicaciónThis quote is a humorous twist on the common saying about making lemonade from life's lemons, suggesting a mischievous alternative for handling challenges. Read more »
I'm on a seafood diet—I see food, and I eat it!

I’m on a seafood diet—I see food, and I eat it!

ExplicaciónThis quote plays on the word 'seafood,' humorously transforming it into 'see food.' It's a lighthearted take on dieting where every food in sight... Read more »
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

The Art of Eyebrow ComedyThis quote spins humor out of an everyday activity, turning a simple beauty routine into a moment of comedic relief. Read more »
When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee!

When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee!

Why Choose Coffee Over Lemons?It's simple. While life's lemons symbolize sour challenges, coffee represents the comforting kick needed to tackle them with a smile. Read more »